Arrested Development Quotes

Arrested development is a TV series centered around a very disorderly family, the Bluths. The Bluth family whose patriarch is George Bluth was once an affluent family but has gone destitute after the Bluth company goes under. With this development, they are forced to move to their last remaining asset which isn’t frozen – a model home.

The Bluth family comprises George snr. himself (who winds up in prison), his wife Lucille, his daughter Lindsay (whom like her mother is a sucker for social prominence), his son Buster (who’s a full blown adult in his mid 30’s but still lives at home), his other son George jnr. (a washed up magician), and finally, Michael (the only remotely “normal” one from the bunch). Michael has a son.

All Michael wants is to stay away from family business but a series of weird circumstances keeps him from doing just that. He is forced to stay and run the family real estate business after his father is sent to prison. However, although in prison, George Bluth snr. still tries to influence his family.

Here are the most interesting 48 quotes from the series.

George Sr. [to Michael]: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an I.U.D.

Michael: “Are you serious?”

Wayne Jarvis: “Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.” (Maybe there is some personal work to be done).

Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

“Oh, mom. After all these years, God’s not going to take a call from you.”

“Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don’t need double talk, you need Bob Loblaw.”

GOB: “I’m dating this Christian girl right now. She wants me to be honest and reconnect with my son. And I’m trying to get her to renounce God and [screw] me, but I just want to prove to her that I’m worth it.”

“Do you think I could have a hit of the juice box?”

“I mean its one banana Michael. What could it cost, $10?” — Lucille Bluth

Lucille: I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I went off my post-partum medication.

Michael: You were still taking that? You had Buster 32 years ago.

“And that’s how long I’ve been depressed about him.” ― Lucille Bluth 

Lucille: I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. (So much bad parenting, so little time)

Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael: Mom, its breakfast.

Lucille: And a piece of toast.

Lucille: Apparently, mood altering medication leads to street drugs. That’s what this very handsome young doctor said on The Today Show.

Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor.

Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist.”

“I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.” — Lucille Bluth

Lucille Bluth: I’ll be in the hospital bar.

Michael: Uh, you know there isn’t a hospital bar, Mother.

Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [Cackles at her own wit]

Lucille: If you’re saying I play favorites, you’re wrong. I love all my children equally.

Suddenly he’s too much of a big shot to brush Mother’s hair. – Lucille, about Buster

Lucille: I don’t care for Gob. (She could write a manual on bad parenting)

Buster: “Mom is becoming a little controlling.”

Michael:” What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?”

Buster: “That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.”

Michael (to Lucille): “You baited the balcony?”

Lucille: “Prove it.” (Try being a good parent first)

Lindsay: I have the afternoon free.

Lucille: Really? Did “nothing” cancel? (What bad parenting and self-esteem crushing looks like)

Michael: Tell me the truth. There’s been a lot of lying in this family

Lucille: And a lot of love.

Michael: More lies. (Sadly the truth)

“Why are you squeezing me with your body (a hug)?” — Michael

“I mean there is so much in life that i haven’t experienced,and now that I’m away from mom I feel like this is my chance to live. I want to dance. I want to make love to a woman. I want to get a checking account. I want to know what it feels like to get my face socked in!” –Buster 

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there’s still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby you got a stew going! – Carl Weathers

Michael: “Buster, you can’t zip-line over there.”

Buster: “Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother’s Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.

Michael: “This is much less scary. Godspeed, Buster.”

“Hey, Mom, remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren’t necessities?”

“Do these effectively hide my thunder?” — Tobias 

George Sr.: Ban on organized sports?

Buster: You know, how you wouldn’t let me sign up for anything when I was a kid.

George Sr.: Is that what you’ve been thinking all these years? No, no, you were, you were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn’t kick, and you couldn’t run, you know? You’re just a, a turd.

Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.

Michael: You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots.

Lindsay: Well, I don’t care about ostriches.

“I hear the jury’s still out on science.” — GOB

Lindsay: “I hate to say it, but Michael might be right. You need to learn a little discipline.”

Maeby: “Hmmm. Nope. That doesn’t feel right.”

Lindsay: “No, no, no. I am telling you. You are now punished. I punish thee!”

Maeby:” Are you serious? What could you possibly come up with that would punish me?”

Lindsay: “Oh, I have to come up with another thing?”

Spoiler Alert: Buster: [Confronting Lucille about his birth father] you lied to me… you said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE.

Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the “T” on it?

Michael: That’s a cross.

Maeby: Across from where?

I’m going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights and we had movie night. And once, both. Those men did not enjoy “Soap dish.” I think you have to know that world. – George Sr.

Gob: And guess what else? Dad kissed me!

Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.

Gob: I didn’t say he was totally into it!

Stan Sitwell: The only thing I ask is out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.

Gob: That’s great, so the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we’re saying? Come on!

“Army had a half day.” — Buster 

I don’t think us sleeping together is working out. You’re a grown man; you should be living with your mother. – Michael, to Buster 

George Michael: I have Pop Pop in the attic.

Michael: What? The mere fact that you call “making love” Pop Pop tells me that you’re not ready.

Michael: And you finished off the whole bottle?

Lindsay Funke: I had to. it’s vodka. It goes bad once it’s opened.

Michael: I think that’s another of mom’s fibs, like “I’ll sacrifice anything for my children”.

Michael: I really think the reason you and I always fight is that, since we were little, Dad’s always played us off each other.

Gob: Dad always said that was your fault.

Jessie: Hi George Michael, proud of yourself?

George Michael: Yeah actually, I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.

I’m not sure how “Solid as a Rock” helps people forget that we built houses in Iraq. – Michael, to Gob

Michael: I thought Buster had everything under control. I thought you’ve been going in to the office.

Buster: Yes, and I’ve enjoyed that. It’s just that I was constantly being called to the phone, or I was asked a question, or I was being resuscitated and it was really hard to get a good work flow going.

“This party is going to be off. The. Hook” – Buster

Michael: We’ve got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.

George Sr.: I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work!

I’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to get drunk by 1 o’ clock.” ― Lucille Bluth

Oh, a pregnancy test. There’s something we never had, huh, Lindsay? No, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science, and money, and just a dash of [notices Maeby has entered] Maeby…would…how…how long have you been standing there? – Tobias

I’m sorry, I’m just still on the whole “Michael being likable” thing. You know he’s only had sex with like four women, right? – Gob

You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.” — Michael

Barry Zuckerkorn: So basically you’re about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stock holders. Now unfortunately it’s a private stock so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell

Michael: Are you sure?

Barry Zuckerkorn: That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves”