Funny Dating Quotes

Dating is interesting and fun, at the same time can be filled with funny moments. In dating, things do not always go as planned. Sometimes, it can be disheartening, infuriating, and horrifying. However, there are times when it is very humorous.

What makes you cry or once made you cry could become something you laugh about and make a joke of tomorrow.

There is nothing that has humor as romantic relationships, especially when the parties don’t yet understand each other, it becomes a house of comedy.

There are a lot of funny date quotes out there, however, we have carefully handpicked these quotes that we guarantee will make you laugh.

48 Funny Dating Quotes

1. “There should be a new relationship status called currently creeping.”

2. “My favorite mythical creatures are decent men.”

3. “Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.”

4. “Relationships these days: One male, one female, one ex trying to mess it up and one friend secretly hoping it ends.”

5. “I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.”

6. “I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.”

7. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”

8. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t play games with people I care about. It’s called being a grown-up. You should try it sometime.”

9. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

10. “It is hot outside, I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.”

11. “My ex says he is dating someone new, but according to his Instagram, she is a sandwich.”

12. “People who share their food with me have a special place in my heart.”

13. “I don’t make mistakes…I date them.”

14. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”

15. “When he said he lived in a gated community, I didn’t consider jail as one.”

16 “There’s plenty of fish in the sea, I’m just no good at fishing.”

17 “I saw a beautiful couple working out together, and couldn’t help but hope that someday I’d find someone who will hate them with me someday.”

18 “My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!”

19 “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

20 “I asked this one girl out, and she said, “You got a friend?” I said yes. She said, “Then go out with him.”

21 “I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.”

22 “Dating is where you pretend you’re someone you’re not to impress someone you don’t know.”

23. “Romance is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always willing to find a way.”

24 “I was on a date with this hot model. Well, it wasn’t a ‘date’ date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.”

25. “Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.”

26. “Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

27. “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

28.”If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

29.”Dating is where you pretend you’re someone you’re not to impress someone you don’t know.”

30. “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn’t rain.”

31. “Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”

32. “Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”

33. “I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.”

34. “It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.”

35. “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”

36. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

37. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.”

38. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

39. “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.”

40. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”

41. “Online dating is like online shopping except you’re looking for people no one wants, and it’s $50 a month.”

42. “Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend.”

43. “I went out with a guy once who told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, ‘I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”

44. “I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”

45. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

46. “The problem with online dating is unlike Amazon, there is no return policy.”

47. “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.”

48. “Isn’t it strange — when you’re single, all you see is couples, and when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers.”

 

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